The Illusion

Wandering alone in the woods of eternity

I find myself lost in the labyrinth

Occasionally, there is a marker here or there

But alas! i know not, i want to go where

My soul is lost in the darkness that surrounds

It has forgotten what light is

It takes steps, directionless

These footsteps, they echo back in the void

My soul has wandered for ages now, one lifetime to another

In search of a place it can call home

Its quest seems never ending, with nothing in sight

I thought this will complete me

I worked hard and achieved it

But it seems meaningless now

like a plant that doesn't grow even after sown

I need to keep looking

Keep searching while i walk

I might stumble across something that would heal the wounds

Made by repeated falling on the ground

The pain now seems addictive or maybe i have numbed

Tears flow down and flood my life

I know myself i will need to wipe

From somewhere a tear sneaks into the wound

It burns I yell with no one to hear

Its time. I look at the shining knob

Still sobbing, reluctantly, I open the door

I step into blinding light

Ah! there is my family, my friend and my enemy

Together they welcome me back

To the Illusion they call Life..!!!

Can i be me?

I walk through the forest, lost in the labyrinth

Of not the trees around me but thoughts that clutter my mind

The trees they sway their branches, leaves flapping in the breeze

They seem to call out to me, make me feel at ease

Oh is it me, i wonder, who feels so sad

or is it just the world that is so bad

It might be either, i hear a voice, or none at all

Don't erect around you, a formidable wall

Let yourself breathe, it says, the air liberates

Give people a chance, comrade it might generate

But i am scared, i said to the wise old tree

of becoming a person that never was me

of getting lost to the crowd that surrounds

of loosing my voice in the cacophony of sounds

It looked at me with ever knowing eyes

You always have an option to choose

its the courage that you lack, that makes you loose

You are born to be happy and free and fulfilled

Not here to think every task is uphill

Have faith in yourself, believe in the Lord

Keep looking for what will resonate with your heart

Then even at the most trying times, your spirit will sail you through

You'll be home with yourself, peace prevail, your eyes will smile too.

A chance to be..!

Give myself a chance to be

Let me know, who is me

Let me cut the strings tying me down

I am trying to swim before i drown.

The skies are wide with clouds and birds

I look up and think, am i one in the herd?

Just then i see a solitary bird

Weren't he supposed to be with his flock.

It seemed he smiled at me and said

It's by choice that i am made

Did you notice, my wonderful dive

I had to for it, strive and strive.

Then he said pointing to his flock miles away

Had you noticed me if, with them i sway?

Don't be scared, listen to your heart

It'll show you the way to your world.

The uniform and the hoop

The birds woke me up with their chatter. 'The' morning was finally here. I opened my eyes, and there it was. On the hanger on the wall opposite. Hanging smartly, ironed, my uniform. My first day to school. I stood up from the bed hurriedly, and started to get ready. School. Wow! My dream. I'll have children my age to play with, masters who set me lessons to do. I'll get free lunch during recess. I will become a doctor and treat my mother who is always ill. I got ready, put on my new shoes, packed my new copy in my new school bag. Combed my hair. While looking at myself in the mirror, i hung the bag on my shoulders. I do look smart. Very handsome indeed. Then i heard the honking of the school van. Slap! Yell! Honk! Honk! Cough! Dust! Smoke! Another slap. i saw my father shouting for me to wake up - "Uth, roti kahan se aayegi warna." I woke up. Stood up from the rug, put on the slippers made from used plastic bottles. My eyes searched for my metal hoop. My brother was standing at a distance with a small drum in his hand. I looked around, saw my mother coughing, father already gulping down the desi tharra. I saw the children across the road on the pavement, going to school. "Chal jaldi" came my brother's voice. I looked at him. I looked at them. Picked up the hoop. Went to the traffic light with my brother and his drum and my hoop and began to perform.

Perhaps, someday, i will hear a school van calling out for me. For now, i'll have to do with honking trucks and cars passing by.

Accounting life!!

The guy who devised the double entry book keeping system was a genius! In an effort to define financial accounting, this person actually made an equation of life. The more i think about it, the more sense it makes. Lets begin with the going concern concept. The concept states that 'the business will continue to operate for the foreseeable future and that it isn't suddenly going to cease trading.' As the business continues even after the end of the financial year, so does the journey of the soul. It doesn't end with a closure called death. As with a business, the assets and liabilities are carried on to the next financial year, so is with the soul. All the deeds are carried on to the next life. There is a profit and a loss, a balance that is carried forward to the next life.

Why is it that when you are travelling on a metro thinking what a terrible day it has been, a stranger with the most beautiful smile in the world comes and starts talking? You are normally an introvert but talking to that stranger comes easily to you. You pour your heart out and by the time he has to de-board, you are already feeling better. He was your debtor who just paid what he owed. At times, you do everything right. You try to be the best person you can be with that very special friend of yours. Whatever you do, circumstances become such that you are always hurt. How much ever you try, things do not work out. It pains. Its like a wound that doesn't heal. Why me? Why me God? Because my child, it was your liability. You were unjust to that person at some time, in some life. Its payback time. When you were suffering, your debts were getting repaid. Does that soothe the pain? No. But, another debt repaid!

You've set your self a target. You are relentlessly trying to achieve it. You are working really hard, thinking about it, planning for it and working towards it with all sincerity and dedication. Congratulations, you've just put in the equity in the business. Your own source of fund. No outside liability. Something that will stay till your journey in this cosmos continues. Something that life owes you. What do you rely on when you've suffered a setback? When you have been knocked out? You look upto the strongest thing in existence for support. Your spirit. The only unbreakable unit in this vulnerable, changing-by-the-minute universe. All the learnings, all the experiences of your being, are stored here. You greatest intangible asset. It can never be rightly valued and is mostly undervalued. The valuation is dependent completely on perception. It is only you who can appreciate its importance. It keeps you going. The fixed assets that you have created are your achievements. With every good deed, you increase the profit and add it to the reserves. Something that the business, life, owes you, the promoter and the only shareholder. With every evil deed, these reserves deplete and losses begin to occur. Loss is an asset in the book of life, now life doesn't owe you anything. It is vice versa. Time to put in more equity and make the business profitable. Be good. Whatever is left after paying your debts, facing losses, making the business run etc etc is the cash balance. The time you spend smiling. The times when you are happy.

And then, another financial year draws to a close. Another, yet to begin!